“Did You Mean That Like That?” Conversations – Recognising Unintentional Bias in Business

Let me start with this: most bias isn’t loud. It doesn’t storm into the room or make a scene. It’s subtle. It hides behind compliments, casual comments, and unspoken assumptions. And that’s exactly why we need to prioritise talking about it. In today’s workplaces, many of us genuinely want to be inclusive. We pride ourselves on being

Let me start with this: most bias isn’t loud. It doesn’t storm into the room or make a scene. It’s subtle. It hides behind compliments, casual comments, and unspoken assumptions. And that’s exactly why we need to prioritise talking about it. In today’s workplaces, many of us genuinely want to be inclusive. We pride ourselves on being

self-aware, open-minded, and fair. But bias isn’t always about conscious discrimination. More often, it shows up in the small things — in who we make eye contact with, who we defer to in conversation, or whose ideas we quietly overlook.

Bias doesn’t just live in hiring practices or performance reviews — it creeps into how we speak to each other, who we trust, and who we assume holds the authority in the room. And even when it’s unintentional, it’s no less powerful. In fact, that’s what makes it so difficult to address.

These small moments shape workplace culture. They influence how people feel — whether they feel heard, respected, and seen. And they have real consequences. Over time, they impact who gets invited to the table, who feels comfortable speaking up, and ultimately, who progresses.

What makes this even more complicated is how hard it can be to call out. When bias is subtle or unconscious, raising it can feel awkward or even risky. You’re often left wondering if you’re being too sensitive, or worse, made to feel like the problem for pointing it out.

I’ve experienced it firsthand. I’ve been in business conversations where I was leading the discussion — until my husband joined me. Suddenly, the conversation shifted toward him, as if the authority had walked in with him. I’ve had visitors to my company assume someone else — usually male — must be the owner. These aren’t isolated incidents. And I know many others, across genders, ages, and backgrounds, have similar stories.

Unintentional bias doesn’t discriminate. It affects women, yes. But it also affects younger professionals who are spoken down to, older colleagues who are overlooked for being “outdated,” introverts mistaken for lacking confidence, and people from diverse ethnic or socioeconomic backgrounds whose voices may not fit the dominant culture of the room. It doesn’t always come from malice. Often, it comes from familiarity, habit, or a lack of exposure to difference.

Sometimes the bias shows up in meetings — where the same voices are heard over and over, while others remain on the margins. Sometimes it shows up in casual conversation — when assumptions are made about someone’s role, capability, or priorities. And sometimes, it’s in who we turn to for validation, feedback, or final decisions.

The challenge with these forms of bias is that they can feel so ordinary. They’re not big enough to warrant a complaint, but they chip away at people’s sense of belonging. When you experience these moments repeatedly, they become exhausting. You start to anticipate beingoverlooked, dismissed, or misunderstood. And that anticipation can hold people back from contributing, taking risks, or even staying in a role long-term.

So, what can we do?

First, we can listen more carefully. Not just to what’s being said, but to who is saying it — and who isn’t being heard. We can be aware of patterns: are certain people regularly interrupted?

Are some ideas dismissed until repeated by someone more senior or familiar? Second, we can challenge our own assumptions. Before making a judgement about someone’s ability or credibility, ask yourself: am I basing this on evidence, or on a stereotype I haven’t questioned? Am I hearing this person clearly, or filtering their voice through a bias I didn’t realise I had?

Third, we can be more intentional about inclusion. That means actively inviting quieter voices into conversations, giving credit where it’s due, and making space for different communication styles. It also means acknowledging when we get it wrong — and being open to feedback without defensiveness.

And finally, we can keep the conversation going. It’s easy to treat bias as a box to tick or a workshop to attend. But real inclusion is a daily practice. It’s built in every meeting, every interaction, every decision.

These efforts don’t have to be perfect to be meaningful. Sometimes it’s just about pausing before reacting. If someone raises a concern, instead of getting defensive, we can respond with curiosity: “Can you tell me more about what you noticed?” That small shift — from defensiveness to dialogue — can make all the difference.

It’s also helpful to understand that addressing bias doesn’t mean pointing fingers. It’s not about blame. It’s about learning. We all have blind spots. We’ve all absorbed messages, assumptions, or social cues that we didn’t even realise were shaping our thinking. The goal isn’t to be flawless — it’s to be willing to reflect and grow.

Leaders in particular have a crucial role to play. The way they handle feedback, distribute opportunities, and model inclusive behaviour sets the tone for the whole team. But you don’t have to be a manager to make a difference. Every one of us contributes to the culture we work in. Inclusion is everyone’s responsibility. Creating a more inclusive workplace doesn’t require sweeping reforms or complex HR

initiatives. It begins with awareness. With slowing down, paying attention, and having the humility to admit we all have blind spots. It’s in how we speak, who we notice, and whether we’re really listening.

Because when people feel seen and valued for who they truly are — not just who we assume they are — we create a workplace that works better for everyone.

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“Did You Mean That Like That?” Conversations – Recognising Unintentional Bias in Business